One of the ugliest sights in the world is that when a person gets unmasked. Life just rips off the smile along with its face and you see that person for what they really are…the hideous face that remained covered for years under the plastic smile and marble eyes. The process of the unmasking is as disgusting as they come. First there is that familiar face...that soothing smile…those eyes that say “I understand”. Then suddenly one day cracks appear little, tiny almost undetectable and when you notice them for the first time you cant believe it and often blame your own eyes for playing tricks on you, then one day the evil inside starts seeping through the ever widening fissures. First as a tiny green trickle until the plastic gives way to the slimy flow and crumbles under its push. The rotten flesh and bones that have been gnawed away by the evil inside, give out a stench so overwhelming that you are knocked out cold. Then when you wake up, they are gone…gone with there rotten insides but the cracked plastic mask still remains on the floor near your foot…the kind smile has been distorted into the most evil grimace and you wonder for a minute if it was all a dream. But life is hardly ever that kind and you know it’s real. What follows is pain…lots and lots of it coz you realize that they took with them a part of your innocence, the rarest and most invaluable commodity in the world today. You will not be the same ever again. You feel totally violated. For you let a masked stranger into your soul for so long and they saw your innermost self, more naked than being unclothed, and worse you let them.
The past one year has made me see the unmasking of so many people that it hardly even shocks me anymore. Its like the past one year turned everything I knew on its head. I feel today as the past 22 years of my life were just a comatose dream, and everyone I knew never existed, ever.
My best friends, who swore to be there even in the darkest phases of life just vaporized into nothingness. I’ve heard of friends bailing on you in tough times, but my friends have done everything they could to make my life tough, when it was smooth and then bailed.
Unconditional friendship is a myth I’ll never believe in anymore. One of those Santa Claus type fantasy stories for gullible young people. The funny thing however is I’m okay. For I know today that my decisions were right and my choices were right. They bailed coz I was headed towards bliss and happiness, I walked anyway and I’m happy for I have found my soul mate and I know I’ll never need anyone ever again. So all those who walked off…to them I say thank you. You gave me the courage to follow my heart by your heartlessness. I might have problems...everyone does but I know I wont witness an unmasking again.
I’m writing all this today for I’m at the threshold of another new year of my life and it makes me think how different life was just 12 months ago…my last birthday and now this one that’s coming. I’m not even that girl anymore. She seems like a stranger, or maybe a distant acquaintance that remains bleary in my memories. In just one year I’ve become a woman.
Thank you once more, to all those who have hurt me and caused me pain. I would have never become what I am today if it weren’t for you. To all those I love I wish friends like I’ve had so you know what the world is really like and help you become a strong and solid man/woman.
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